What in the Truck is so Funny?
"I dunno Doc.... I just don't seem as happy as the other clams..."
Ma and Pa Trucker decided to take a working vacation this year.
Gentlemen if we pay bonuses this year in oatmeal we can tell the drivers we're paying them "practical" miles. This should yield an estimated $458,072 this quarter.
When mileage rates dropped again poor Sven says,"Top ramen? Top ramen? By yumpin yiminy I can only afford 'de Bottom ramen fer sher. If d' mileage rates would yust go up I could afford d' Top ramen like 'd rich guys!"
I took a Mum out for a date last night Your lucky Pal, I got fresh with a Black Eyed and I couldn't get a word out of her. Susan. I'm just glad she wasn't a Snapdragon or there's no tellin' what woulda happened!
Our friend "Truck Driving Monte" has figured a better way than getting paid per mile! If you see him slip a dollar or two in his pocket because he is too lazy to fetch his money out of his tin can. (Whoa that's lazy)
Bling is Relative- Be Happy With What You Have!!
Whoa Dude! That's a pre 2015 Wal Mart Garden Center Special!! I love what you've done with the streamers man!
For safety reasons when fueling at night sparklers are not recommended for emergency lighting. Pa Trucker figured this out the hard way.
That's the third wallet! Sez Pa Trucker,"I no more'n sit down and these newfangled terlets grab the paper gasket, wallet and whatever else...I'm doin' my business in my truck!!"
Hey you truck driving dudes and gals...this cat Stevie Reeal makes everybody look like squat. He makes the women at the rest areas swoon....yeah swoon.... and he's got so much class he carries monogrammed toilet seat covers in their own leather case. Whoa that's cool....
Pa Trucker suffers yet another fuel/route miscommunication.
WHAT DISPATCH IMAGINES- "Hello dispatch? Truck 432 and I are shut down due to weather. You can't expect us to drive in these conditions."
"Hello can you hold?" "Ahhhh.....I love this job....zzzzzzz"
"What?!! You say three drivers have been seriously hurt in the yard? Well have recruiting replace them immediately!....er ...well yes I suppose we can call an ambulance too."
When Santa damaged yet another roof his insurance rates skyrocketed. He figured maybe he should start using truck scales.... Rudolph wishes he would buy a stepladder.
When Higgins decided to marry his truck his friends all decided he'd been on the road far, far too long. Higgins doesn't care he loves his truck.
After 30 years of driving over the road Murphy was touched to have the company buy him a gold plated toilet seat....of his very own! His truck driving buddies were jealous.
"Hey you notice they're treating drivers better? They changed our bucket and put new straw on our concrete floor."
Pa Trucker has had his issues with his GPS unit.
This method can be a great fuel saving operation... unless of course you run into a brisk headwind....or low bridge.
This method will get you up hills in a timely fashion but is not recommended for explosive or flammable cargo!!!
Pa Trucker never did figure out the Texas ways.... he probably never will...
"Gentlemen this new company approved casket design will eliminate the need for four of the normal six pall bearers required for our deceased driver honor guard program thus saving the company an estimated $26,384.74."
O'Malley had steer axles that were overweight. He had to jettison all of the weight he could before he went to the scale house... and I mean all...even his collection of trucking magazines....Gee Whiz
O'Malley trained his dog Spot to drive his truck and become his team member! It would've worked too, except for...you know... the road rage thing.
Pa Trucker has come up with a new idea to solve his current cruise control problems...
At last! A more efficient truck driver seat! (note: this device is not designed to be flushed in city traffic or at speeds less than 50 MPH)
"Gentlemen our motion studies have shown that the operations people shuffle from desk to desk throughout their shift. If we can somehow attach brooms to their backsides we can have them sweep and save approximately $38,472.58."
"Oh thank heaven! It's only a driver... I thought we'd hit a dog."